Halo Night Carnage Report: Holograms FTW!

Another solid outing this weekend, even though Dize couldn't join us. Hey Dize, next time you have a choice between solidifying your career and playing Halo with a bunch of rotten assholes, maybe next time try not to be so responsible, eh?

Our stalwarts of Vehicle King and Shotty Snipers made multiple showings, as well as Slayer and Rockets on the classics of yesteryear, Beaver Creek and Lockout. Infection led to some hilarious moments, and we found a new favorite armor ability for Hammers on Sword Base. Jet Packs are so last season; Hologram is the new black.

RPG Special: ExpectingCorky gets so amped up with the Rocket Launcher, he blows a hole straight through my chest.

Halo Night Carnage Report: The Original Kings of Pwnage

A big Halo Night deserves a big update. We had a pretty solid outing, with plenty of old favorites mixed with a few new experiments. We started off with a return to Beaver Creek, followed by a couple rounds of hammery goodness, and a quick foray into Banshee Race. Our old Blood Gulch standards, Shotty Snipers and Vehicle King, both made solid showings, with an amazing Tank vs. Gravity Hammer duel in the latter. Powerhouse was home to a couple trial runs-- Dan's favorite gametype, Headhunter, and a team game of Stockpile, which turned out to be pretty fun despite only having 5 players. We rounded things out with a game of Haloball Xtreme, and what turned out to be the highlight of the night: Infection on Countdown. All of Graham's fancy Latin phrases were no match for the undead hordes.

But before we get to the screenshots, a few of us (by which I mean Dan) seem to be having problems with proper headset operation. Here's a quick, easy-to-understand guide:

I hope that clears a few things up. I know it can be confusing. Just remember guys, if no one is eviscerating your awful jokes, they probably can't hear you. That, or they're playing an elaborate (and hilarious) prank.

And now, on to the pics....

Halo Night Carnage Report: Raaaaaaaaaaiiiiiin

Big thanks to Graham for getting photos from last week's Halo Night.

Amateur Surgeon: I root around for an extra kidney in Rainman 082's thorax.

Halo Night Carnage Report: The Corky Kills Noah Edition

Another good night of Halo this week, even if Graham decided he had more important things to do. However, he was kind enough to log onto his Xbox without actually joining the game, leaving us to spam him with  invites and wonder why he doesn't love us anymore. Is it because we've gained weight? Or have you been seeing Call of Duty behind our backs?! You cheating bastard!

Anyways, last time there were complaints that I didn't include enough shots of ExpectingCorky killing me in the Carnage Report. Well, customer service is my middle name. (Actually it's Hiatt, but "Customer Service" really does sound better.)

Sniped!

Halo Night Carnage Report: The Returnening

Halo Night made a glorious ignominious return to Blood Gulch this weekend. A few "highlights"....

First, joe buzzkill forgets which side the driver's seat is on.

Some Stuff I've Been Reading

Liar's Poker and The Big Short by Michael Lewis
To the extent that one can have physical affection for written words, I have a total crush on Michael Lewis' writing. Liar's Poker is about the Gordon Gecko culture of 80s Wall Street. Lewis was a fresh out of grad school, and had the good fortune to land a job at Salomon Brothers-- a major Wall Street bond trading firm, and the originators of the mortgage-backed security.* The Big Short is about the economic meltdown of 2008, as seen through the eyes of a handful of analysts who saw the disaster coming. Though they were written 20 years apart, when read together these books are an awesome chronicle of the rise and fall of the mortgage security market. Lewis has a real flair for personal details that keep the stories and real-life characters engaging and interesting, such that the books read like novels, even during detailed discussions on how bonds work.

*If Salomon sounds familiar, that's because they were the inspiration for The Bonfire of the Vanities, and Liar's Poker reads like a real-life version of that book. Except that Liar's Poker is well written, and enjoyable to read. (Oh yeah, I went there. Tom Wolfe is a hack.)

Mass Effectin'

I finished up up Mass Effect 2 over the weekend, finally. I am an OCD completionist on these games, so I scoured every uninhabited rock in the galaxy in search of sidequests and loot.

I don't think I've ever seen such a frank, uncompromising self-assessment between sequels. The first game did very well, both critically and commercially, but Bioware looked deep and hard at the game they created, and they were not sparing of themselves. Mass Effect has emerged from its chrysalis leaner, smoother, and more streamlined than before.  The wretched, borderline torturous inventory system was completely scrapped, and replaced by a highly streamlined collection of hardware. And when I say streamlined, I mean there are only three or four entries each type of gun. That's a far cry from the 150+ (per gun category!!) that you had to juggle the first time around. Armor upgrades are now just permanent stat boosts, and ammo types have been relegated to powers rather than items. You even have a personal assistant to tell you when you have e-mail.

Prejudicial Treatment

You have no excuse to not download Section 8: Prejudice right now; this is budget gaming at its finest. Incidentally, I started writing this post two weeks ago. It's taken me this long to complete it because I've been playing Section 8 with every spare minute.

Apparently, Prejudice is a sequel to a first-person shooter that came out in retail two years ago, which was well-received by critics but never rose above obscurity. TimeGate Studios surprised the gaming world when it announced that not only would there be a sequel, but it would be a donwloadable title priced at  $15 (or 1200 MS points for us Xbox owners.) I'm impressed with the fact that they were able to make a fully operational FPS available for download, complete with a campaign and creative multiplayer that is at least as fun as the retail competition.

Saints Row is More Fun than GTA, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Urban Sandbox Games Again

I have issues with open world games. Especially Grand Theft Auto. Back in the days of yore, I played Vice City to 100% completion, which even by today's standards was a huge feat. But ever since then, the series just hasn't held the same allure. Maybe it was because the Frankie outfit was kind of a letdown, but I think one part of the problem is that sandbox games give me too much freedom. When I'm able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, I end up not doing anything because I have no clear goals and objectives, and therefore no sense of progress or reward. I just drive around aimlessly, run over some  pedestrians, die in a shootout and turn the console off.

But another big issue is that Grand Theft Auto can just be a frustrating game to play. I decided to gave GTA IV a shot a few months ago, because it had some ridiculously good reviews, but I got frustrated as soon as I started taking missions. Don't get me wrong, GTA IV is a good game with super high production values, and you can see the polish on ever surface. But even so, a host of minor annoyances kept me from enjoying the game as much as I should have.

War for Cybertron

That's no moon...

So.Yes. I have played Portal 2. And it is excellent. In every way. It may, in fact, be the best game ever, of all time. But as much as I want to talk about it RIGHT NOW, I have yet to play the co-op campaign. And I have a feeling that-- more so than gels, excursion funnels, and thermal discouragement beams-- the addition of a partner changes the game at a fundamental level. So my write-up for Portal 2 will have to wait until I can schedule some time with Sr. Joseph P. Buzzkillington to see what Atlas and P-Body have to offer.

The Twilight Samurai

The Netflix "Watch Instantly" library is a treasure trove. Sure, there are a lot of garbage SyFy Originals and violence porn like Tokyo Gore Police (yes, that is the name of an actual film). But it's also home to multi-award-winning documentaries and foreign films, which now make up about 95% of my Instant Queue. (The other 5% being Will Farrell comedies.) Based on my interest in Yojimbo and Lust, Caution, Netflix recommended Twilight Samurai, which turned out to be a surprisingly touching film.

DLC

I haven't played any new games lately, I've keeping my plate clear for Portal 2. But, the other night I finally finished the final level of Super Meat Boy, which got me thinking about downloadable games. To me, the most exciting stuff going on in this console generation is in the downloadable arena. In the long run, we'll probably look back one day and say that motion controllers were this generation's biggest contribution to the medium. The Kinect, especially, has a lot of untapped potential-- just take a look at what the warlocks over at KinectHacks are doing. But Microsoft has figured out what to do with the thing yet, and motion controls in general have a long way to go. For the moment, the most innovative and creative stuff is happening on Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network, and....whatever the Wii online service is, I guess.

In a lot of ways, it's a return to the olden days of game development, when a small team (or even just a couple guys in a basement) could craft a good idea into an instant classic. You don't need tons of features and modes, you just need a good central gameplay hook. You don't need hyper-realistic graphics, you just need a unique aesthetic sense. If I ever get a job in the industry, I hope it's in making these smaller, downloadable games. They don't have as much investment money attached to them, so you can afford to take chances and make crazy experiments. And development cycles are much shorter-- as much as I love Halo, I feel kinda bad that the guys at Bungie have been stuck basically making the same game for 10+ years.

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Are the two M16s necessary? Are we really dual-wielding assault rifles now?

I never intended to get Black Ops. While I played, and enjoyed, both entries of Modern Warfare, I didn't developed much of an emotional attachment to the series. I mainly got into it to have something new to play with the Halo Nighters. But somehow, my mom managed to get her hands on a free copy of Black Ops (I assume she beat up some crippled kids) and sent it to me. My first reaction was to trade it in for Mass Effect 2, so that I could transition into it immediately after finishing the first game, making one seamless, 120-hour epic. However, Black Ops is supposed to be pretty short, and as long as it's in my house, I may as well get some enjoyment out of it. It will probably be good to have some sort of hiatus before indoctrination sets in.

Les Oiseaux en Colère

Furious Fowl

I am about to talk about Angry Birds.

As a member of teh l33t hardcorz, I should detest this "casual" game, and the cultural dilution it supposedly represents. But after playing it almost every day for the last month or so, I have to admit, this is brilliant game design wrapped in a fantastic business plan.

Mass Effect

I must stop the Reapers from destroying all intelligent life in the galaxy!

But first, I have to scan this random, barren rock world for mineral deposits.

And do some gambling in the casino.

...And play with this box of kittens.

Kraken by China Miéville

What do a mild-mannered museum curator, an underground mollusk cult, a statue-dwelling union leader, a supernatural police squad, and a mystical crime lord trapped inside a tattoo have in common? Why, they're just a few of the people scouring London for the formalin-preserved specimen of Architeuthis dux-- the giant squid-- which has mysteriously disappeared from the British History of Natural History. And which may or may not be causing the end of the world.

Splinter Cell: Conviction

FACT: Terrorists have terrible peripheral vision.

I wrapped up the campaign in Splinter Cell: Conviction over the weekend. Chaos Theory was, to me, the pinnacle of the stealth genre-- releasing me from the hellscape that is Metal Gear-- so it was impossible to walk into Conviction without some major expectations. This latest entry in the series took some major risks by introducing major changes to the core gameplay mechanics. Fortunately, these changes worked out well for the most part, and helped to freshen up the gameplay. I always like to support the noble experiment, so I applaud Ubisoft for having the guts to take chances with one of their biggest franchises.